What am I doing here?

My heart is banging and I am having trouble keeping my thoughts in order, that stupid voice in my head that sounds a bit like my mother is making critical comments and demanding I get on with the jobs I am supposed to be doing.  Instead I have been browsing through facebook, looking at messages on hotmail and have finished up with a good dose of blog reading, all this to stop me from doing what I am supposed to do.
Now you would think that all this procrastination would have left me feeling more relaxed and ready to face the task at hand....but no.  Instead I have now decided to waste more time by writing a blog about nothing but it spares me from contemplating what I must eventually do.
Why am I so nervous? is it fear of humilation, of upsetting someone, not getting it right....I think it all stems down to being a wanna be perfectionist.  Now I say a wanna be, because as much as I strive to make things perfect it never works out that way and to stop me from going mad I have to give in and accept my lot.  So would that be a lazy perfectionist? mmm mothers voice is back..
My other habit of comfort at times like these is chocolate or cake even, whatever it has to be sweet and gooey or there is always alcohol, I do love that warm, lush feeling spreading through your chest after the second or third mouthful of red wine.
What am I going to say? I know she wants me to be awe inspiring - I know this because she is a virgo like me and therefore she too is a perfectionist! Not only do I have to be awe inspiring, I have to be funny, I have to grab the attention of all assembled guests and tug at their heart strings.  There should be the odd tear or two and the swelling of chests from displayed pride.  But I don't care about the guests, I want all that just for her for she is my audience and the only one I want to impress. 
She is my love, my concern, my torment, my flesh, I want her to have every possible thing, yet know the difference of being without.  I want her to try, feel, experiment and grow, but she must be safe, happy, content and secure.  All grown now, no longer my responsibility I'm told - wry smile as I type this as it will never be the case.  I love her more than words can say, how and where do I start to capture that in words?  How do I stand up and tell the world how I feel, that my baby is a woman in love and marrying the man who will be there for her instead of me from now on?
This is getting me nowhere, I can hear my mother' voice now, stop moping she nags and get on with it - she gets married in 3 days and you haven't wrote the speech yet!